“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”
As a person coming to the end of her twenties, I am constantly trying to figure out what to do with my time. Recently, I have been asked, “How do you have time to do all the things you do?” Or I have been told, “I do not know how you work your day job and still do comedy or art in the evening.” These statements and questions trigger the self love bones in my body and I want to reach out and say that everyone is capable of doing everything they want and more. I quoted Lucille Ball because she was the first woman to ever run a production company. She also was the first comedic influence for me as a child and I am always inspired by my memories of watching her show with the women in my family. I ask all my readers to please dive in and learn more about her work ethic because she is absolutely fabulous. Here is some life hacks that have helped me plow through my days.
Limit your Netflix and Chill
If you are watching more than six hours of television a week you can work on a project. I am guilty of indulging in netflix, Hulu, HBO, PRIME and all the things as much as the next guy or gal but whenever I am watching any show I find myself feeling a pit of guilt if I don’t make myself do at least three tasks before, after or during. I like to treat television like a reward. It is so fun to fantasize over the characters and plots we watch but don’t forget about your own plot is worth developing too.
Don’t be a dumbass, run Forest! RUN!
Books are great and I love a good book on a plane, by the pool, or before bed but when your life is crazy it can be its own task to finish one. Sometimes I can’t keep my eyes open after work and gigs. My dad asks me what books I am reading every time we talk on the phone and lately I have been utilizing audiobooks. I felt guilty because I felt like I am getting off easy but as a person with dyslexia, ADHD, and a busy schedule I decided to embrace it. I have a dog that needs tons of long walks and you can lose yourself in a good book while walking for miles. Cleaning your house is not so bad when you’re listening to a good book or podcast. Traffic sucks but not when you have a book, go ahead, let that person in your lane. Get rid of that road rage. ALSO, TREES (that’s a long stretch, I know but come on it counts). Reading is great but if you ever want to do more with your time, pump it up with an audiobook. Audible is also dope as fuck because you can get your first book free and send books to friends!
I don’t know how some people can get away with a few hours of sleep each night but you do you! I need all the sleep I can get because I have hypothyroidism and a underactive thyroid makes for a sassy monster. Also, The American Sleep Association says adults should get seven to nine hours of sleep a night and why settle for less when statistics are saying you deserve more, treat your damn self. Nine hours of sleep a day living is a perfect world version of me though, we all have lines we have to cross. Sometimes there is a gig that starts at 11:00 pm at night and the old day job starts early. If you lose sleep one night, try and get some rest in the next day, stay in and maybe watch a movie (Perfect time to reward yourself for doing a task like I said above. If you can go the extra mile, make something). FOMO is real but you have to take care of yourself when 50-70 Million people in America suffer from some kind of sleep disorder (Assoc et al., 2018).” losing sleep leads to a bunch of nasty medical problems and you aren’t your best self when you are tired but don’t worry, I will never tell you that you look tired cause that is rude as fuck. I can tell you that knowing when something is in your best interest is a huge part of life and we are all bad at it sometimes. You want to say yes to everything but ask yourself if it is making your life better or worse. Lastly, try napping. It is better for you than caffeine and it is a great way to reset. Be sure to not sleep more than an hour and have fun! Dream big baby!
Friends, Family and lovers.
The nuclear family doesn’t owe you anything. If someone is verbally, emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive in your family, you don’t need them in your life. There is a long history of people having to pick up members of their family in America when in reality some members cause many levels of trauma to an individual. We are living in a corrupt time again and you don’t owe anyone in your family more love than you are giving yourself. Ask yourself if this person is worth the work. If a person is taking from your life physically and emotionally you have a right to find a new group of people to surround yourself with and call family.
As far as friends go, I have been terrible at managing people worth my time since I was a child. My sister and mother used to always tell me that some of the friends I would beg to go hang out with were trash. Deep down I probably knew it and I am so thankful for their words to echo through my older years because many of those people have left my side. I find myself hesitating to embrace new friendships sometimes and I wouldn’t say it is bad. It is only because my time is precious to me. I think you should always treat everyone with the respect they deserve but you can’t go into a friendship assuming you are the best of friends right off the back. I don’t know why but assumed friendship runs strong in stand up. I have been the bad guy in this. I have been the person so eager to just be a part of a group that I forgot to just respectfully introduce myself and give them time to know me. Now that I am furthering my career I can tell you introducing yourself is a huge part of being successful. Successful in any career. That goes for the other side of it too, introduce yourself to the new people that come into your life. It is easy to forget how hard it can be to meet people. To the people saying it is hard to meet people as you get older, please save yourself the lonely road and reach out. Nothing about your age defines when you can have friends and you never know when a loved one will leave you. Treat your friends like beautiful plants, if you don’t tend to it with love and check in, consider that friendship a dead one. We all fall out of these but if you feel like you want to reach back out, do it! Start there and then try and see if the friendship feels as it always was. Don’t just text someone you haven’t reached out to in years and expect them to turn their life around for you. People that forget their credit card at brunch, never offer to pay for gas or to split a lyft, talk at you instead of with you, hook up with the person you were openly trying to pursue etc… These are not your friends. I am guilty of relating in my own experiences and I have learned over the years sometimes you should just listen and not give your two cents.
Finally. Love, it is a beast. I was single for the first eight years of my late teen years and twenties willingly. I knew that I never wanted to settle for someone that was not making my life easier. I just didn’t know how to date without a pursuit. I had tons of fun and don’t regret it but I wish I didn’t get as hung up on getting that dick sometimes. It happens when that is the fad of people in their twenties. Living in a world of Tinder and OKCupid can feel very robotic. You end up letting sex and lust get in the way of your own focus and if you read my first blog, you can end up falling down a wormhole of depression. Depression is real and consuming. If you don’t have a way to help treat it, then it becomes even more of a battle. I found myself “dating down” in my early twenties. I would date guys that I knew I wouldn’t want to be in the long run with. Turns out, they also don’t want that a lot of the time too, or you end up hurting people. I met my current boyfriend in person at an open mic. I decided to ask him out because I was constantly feeling inspired by his work. Inspiration is a good sign in dating! Some other good signs, someone that you want to see do well, someone that supports your stupid ideas, someone that helps you with your own work, chores and makes your life easier dammit! If the person you are dating pokes fun at your appearance, your intelligence or tries to fuck with you daily and play a wondering game of when you should text back maybe this person is a bad fling and you should have a talk.
You should be lifting everyone up in your life and not down. If someone is asking for more than you can give, see if they are worth it. You only have one life and you don’t want to spend it with assholes and moochers.
I am going to wrap all of this up by just saying everyone is capable of a lot. Love yourself and remember whether you are spending your time becoming super successful in your career or having a cool family or doing both, you can make time for extra if you want it. Don’t diss yourself by saying you never do anything, everyone has a different path. Try not to use “I have been so busy,” as an excuse because everyone is busy and can make cuts to make more time for their lives. Don’t doubt yourself and put yourself in a box. Get off your phone when you are with your friends and family. Remind yourself to think about what your currently doing and ask yourself if that is a good use of time.
I sure hope this was helpful.
Assoc, A., Sleep, A., Disorders, S., Treatments, S., Professionals, F., News, S., ASA, A. and Products, S. (2018). Insomnia Sleep Apnea Narcolepsy Snoring - Research & Treatments | ASA. [online] American Sleep Assoc. Available at: https://www.sleepassociation.org/ [Accessed 22 Apr. 2018].